


Care

by Prongs_writes



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Caring Will, Comfort, Comforting, Cuddling, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, just will taking care of nico, nico feels bad, not graphic, platonic solangelo, seriously there is nothing graphic, solangelo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-23 01:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23003404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prongs_writes/pseuds/Prongs_writes
Summary: "If Nico was honest with himself, he should’ve seen it coming. If he was honest with himself, he should’ve done something sooner. If he was honest with himself, he probably should’ve talked to someone a long time ago. But he was a dishonest person and honestly, he couldn’t bring himself to care at this point."
Relationships: Nico di Angelo & Will Solace, Nico di Angelo/Will Solace
Comments: 10
Kudos: 198





	Care

**Author's Note:**

> i just had a lot of feelings and decided to project on nico

If Nico was honest with himself, he should’ve seen it coming. If he was honest with himself, he should’ve done something sooner. If he was honest with himself, he probably should’ve talked to someone a long time ago. But he was a dishonest person and honestly, he couldn’t bring himself to care at this point.

The day started like any other. He woke up for a start and was instantly hit by the feelings he was trying to suppress for two weeks now. They came barreling towards him, knocking him down and making him enable to do anything about it. Another nightmare, another restless night, another round of fucked up feelings. 

He stared at his cabin’s ceiling, a dull grey, willing himself to get out of bed and head for breakfast before Hermes kids take all of the pancakes, but somehow it seemed like an impossible task. Time passed, his feelings only intensifying as he got more and more aware of his surroundings. He doesn’t know how long he just laid there in nothing but impossible silence until his bladder got the better of him and he softly padded towards the bathroom.

Seeing as he was already in there, he decided that brushing his teeth and taking a shower would be a good idea. The urge to cry out under the cascading water grew and grew until he let the first tears fall and get immediately washed away. 

His heart clenched, spreading pain all over his chest and into the pit of his stomach as the pressure behind his eyes grew, head pounding with something he couldn’t name, urging him to let the soundless sobs out. A whine escaped his lips, the sound of it so far from his ears and foregin as he collapsed on the tile floor, clawing at his skin, trying to gather himself but feeling like he was trying to keep the water of the broken dam in. His breathing became erratic, chest constricting, leaving him gasping for breath as the fingers of his left hand digged and stretched at his right forearm, a desperate attempt to do something, anything to let it out and make it disappear. 

It didn’t work.

He stumbled out of the bathroom after what seemed like hours, tugging on the most comfortable and worn out clothes he could find before crawling under the covers once again. Violent shivers wrecked his body, making him curl in on himself, knees pressed tight against his chest as he breathed in and out. 

One, two, three, in. Three, two, one, out. 

The pain seemed endless, million thoughts running through his mind, memories he’d rather unsee, words he’d rather unhear.

He found himself in a limbo, balancing on the line just between conscious and sleep as he tossed and tumbled on the bed. 

Empty. He felt empty. But yet again, there was pain, so much pain it threatened to devour him, make him it’s slave until he was just a useless crumble. He didn’t think it was possible to feel so much sadness, yet so much emptiness at the same time. Nico felt as if he was missing something, needing something. Something just out of his reach but for the life of him he couldn’t figure out what that something was.

He was nothing. An abomination, a useless hero and a disappointment of a son. An annoyance of a brother and a burned of a friend. 

Others are right, he thought bitterly. No wonder everybody avoids me. Just a creep. An object to make fun of and poke and stare. Nobody wants me here. Hades, I don’t even know what I am doing here.

He wrecked his brain, trying to come up with a reason, just a single reason as to what was he still doing there. On Earth, in New York, at Camp...alive. 

Why do I even bother? Nobody needs me...no wonder Bianca left. 

He couldn’t do anything against the other onslaught of misery that came with that thought. He found himself sobbing and gasping for breath once again. Trying against all hopes to make it stop, to convince himself that it was all in his head, that it wasn’t true. But it was. It was and that was the part that hurt the most. 

His arm burnt with a pleasant pain and he relished it, cherished it and seeked comfort. Suffer, he will suffer just like he was supposed to, just like everybody wants him to, just like he deserves. 

Time blurred in an endless cycle of consciousness and sleep as he stayed rooted under the dark covers in the dark room with his dark thoughts. Wishing and hoping to die right then and there, to put an end to everything and just take some rest because gods even knew he was tired. Tired of everything, of himself, of his mind, of his dark feelings, tired of life.

The sound of his door being opened is what brought him back that time. Another nightmare, another set of unwanted memories. Rationally speaking, he should get worried, wonder how they opened when he was the only person with a key and maybe even get up to explore, but his brain was way past rational thinking at that point. 

Soft footsteps sounded as the person entered and closed the door softly before making their way into the dark room. Nico turned on his side, eyes peeking from under the blanket as he faced the archway to the main room. 

There stood Will, as sunshiney as ever with a bag slung over his shoulder and an easy sway in his hips as he tossed the said bag on Nico’s bed and sitting on the edge of it.

“Rude, leaving me all alone the whole day. I’m truly wounded”, he drawled as he lifted his feet on the covers and crawled over Nico’s cocooned form, making himself comfortable next to his side. “Stolls showed me how to lockpick”, he explained offhandedly.

Nico just sighed, before flipped over once again and turning to face him. 

Of course, how could he forget? In all his painful haze, his mind seemingly forgot about the sun kissed son of Apollo who hasn’t left his side for months at this point. Ever since the war ended, Will went out of his way to include him in everything, to come and drag him to Camp activities and to just hang out with him. Never once did he stop questioning it and wondering why, but never once did he ask. Will didn’t seem like he was going to give up any time soon.

It wasn't the first time something like this happened. Nico finding himself bedridden and Will casually bargaining in, but it still surprised him. 

They stayed like that, just sitting in silence. It wasn’t unusual for them, they would often just sit around as Will did some paperwork and Nico laid under the sun, but it was still tense, both waiting for the other to do something. 

“Is that all you ate?”, Will asked after some time, chin pointing at the ramen bowl that sat empty on his nightstand. Nico nodded, he couldn’t remember when he ate it. “Death Boy, Death Boy”, Will tutted as he snatched his bag and dragged it all over his lap. “Up”, he ordered earning a groan from the son of Hades.

“Don’t be stubborn”, Will muttered as he started pulling him up. After some time of fighting against him, Nico found himself sitting up, right next to a huffing Will. He dug around the bag, pulling out something that brought genuine surprise and wonder in Nico. A Happy Meal. 

“Don’t ask questions, just take it. I know what I said, and I still think they’re unhealthy but...I’ll let today pass”, he explained, his eyes averted, red tint in his cheeks. Nico reached out a tentative hand, accepting the red box with a small nod, earning himself a beaming grin from Will who pulled out a matching one for himself. Upon Nico’s questioning eyebrow raise, he pouted, “What? It's a cheat day.”

Nico didn’t question it. They started eating in silence, but apparently Will couldn’t last long under it, something Nico was very well familiar with. “Seeing as to how you left me all alone for today, you leave me with no other choice but to tell you about my day. It started with Austin dumping a water bucket all over my head after I almost slept through our morning yoga session and then…”

Will babbled on, telling him everything that played through with as much dramatics as he could. Nico found himself captivated, hanging off his every word, enjoying how Will seemed genuinely upset by the fact that he wasn’t there to defend him against mean children of Demeter. Eventually, Will quieted down, waiting for Nico to finish eating as he tried to discreetly check him over, something that caused a spark of annoyance to erupt in the younger boy.

“Another nightmare?”, he asked as he reached out and ran a hand through his sweat coated hair. Nico cringed a bit, that couldn’t have been pleasant, he himself feels disgusted by it. He knows that he looks like a mess. Covered in his own sweat and tears despite the fact that he took a shower just a couple of hours ago. He only nodded as a way of response and dropped the empty container on the floor. They never talked about Nico’s nightmares or anything he has been through. Nico assumed that Will heard stuff from the others and gathered a lot of them himself during Nico’s overnight stayings in the infirmary. He never asked and Nico never told, but Will always helped.

Will suddenly sprung on his feet and before he could even think of a reason for him to do so, Nico found himself being held in two strong arms, bridal style. An embarrassing yelp escaped him as he gripped into Will’s shoulder, but Will merely laughed as he started carrying him towards the bathroom. He huffed as he threw a death glare at the son of Apollo. Will was unbothered as he lowered him on the sink counter and skidded outside only to return with a chair. 

He placed the chair next to the bathtub before coming back and carrying him to it. Nico knew not to question it, he did this every time after all. He only gave out an exasperated sigh before grabbing the end of his shirt and tugging it off.

“Good Death Boy”, Will commented as he turned the water on, waiting for Nico to lean back. He did so, and soon a warm stream of water hit his head before Will’s hands started massaging shampoo into his hair. He never understood why Will did it. He clearly remembered how long it took Will to let him wash his hair the first time he tried it. Every other time after it was easier and eventually Nico found himself enjoying it. Enjoying the gentle way Will’s hands went through his hair, the smell of pomegranates in the shampoo and the warmth of the water. 

Will worked with only a soft hum escaping his lips. It vibrated in Nico's chest, making him feel just a bit more relaxed and calm as he let out a content sigh.

“Good?”, Will quietly asked and Nico could only hum in response. Sooner than he would’ve liked it, Will turned the water off, helping him sit back up and rubbing his hair with a gentle towel. “Clean clothes are over there. Come back out once you change”, he instructed as he exited the bathroom.

Nico did as he was told, slipping a fresh pair of pajama bottoms on and tugging a worn out cam t-shirt over his thin body. The shirt was bigger than the rest of his own and after taking an experimental wiff, he found himself assaulted by the familiar scent of lemons and honey. Will’s shirt, his mind supplied, helpful for the first time in what seemed like days and he couldn’t help but agree. His heart soared at the thought, a strange feeling erupting in his gut but he pushed it down, letting his negative emotions stomp all over it.

Will waited for him on the bed, a med kit opened and ready next to him. Nico hated this part but he knew that he just needed to indulge him a bit longer. He sat down cross legged, head bowed down as Will took a hold of his arm. 

“Nico, Nico”, Will muttered as he inspected them. “Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”, he whispered softly and shame burned in Nico’s cheeks, but he knew that it was stronger than him. He hated it just as much as Will. After some time, Will dropped his arms, now coated in some heavy cream which he knew will manage to calm down the redness and rawness of the mess he made. 

“C’mere”, Will said after moving the kit away, arm open and waiting. Nico didn’t need to be told twice as he crashed against his firm chest and let himself be held by the son of Apollo. He breathed him in, lemons, honey, and heat. Familiar, calming, there.

After some time of Nico laying there still and Will rubbing soothing circles on his back, he finally managed to croak, “Why?” First words he said the whole day.

Will’s hand froze mid motion, his entire posture going rigid as his eyes fixed on the dark mop of hair now nestled in his chest, “Why what?”

“Why are you doing all of this?”, Nico asked, eyes closed shut and not facing him, too afraid of Will reading his emotions. It was the first time he asked, the first time he dared to ask that big question. Why? Why was Will doing all of this? Why was he taking care of Nico when he couldn’t? Why did he do this every time? 

“Because”, Will simply said as if that in itself should be enough.

“Because what, Will?”, he pushed.

“Why do you think?”, he sounded truly offended and Nico briefly wondered if he was, “Because I care. Honestly, how dense can you be Death Boy.” It wasn’t said as an insult. An adoring and fond tone laced through his words and neither of them were sure if it was intentional or not.

“Y-you do?”, Nico still didn’t dare to look him in the eyes.

“Course I do. Y-you’re my best friend Death Boy, I’ll always care about you”, his hold on Nico tightened as if to confirm his words and Nico would be a liar if he said it didn’t work.

Nico finally faced Will, tears blurring his vision as he whispered with a stutter, “You’re my best friend too.” He wanted to say more. Say how much all of this meant to him, how much Will meant to him. How much he cared about him, how much he loved him for this and for everything else. But he couldn’t, because his throat was suddenly too tight and it was too difficult to see and everything was just too much.

Tears started to fall down his cheeks and Will was quick to wipe them off and embrace him once again. He whispered comforting words into his ear, soothing his pain and chasing his worries away, letting him cry it all out as he clutched at his shirt, holding like a small child, but too overwhelmed to feel embarrassed by it.

“I know I don’t say this often enough, but I’m here for you. Now and any time you might need me, okay? And if you ever feel like talking, I’m always ready to listen”, Will assured, his voice dripping with so much honesty and care that it made a new round of tears swell in Nico’s eyes.

“Thank you Sunshine”, was all Nico managed to say, over and over again, feeling nothing but deep appreciation for the sun kissed boy who never seems to give up on him.

And maybe that was all Nico needed. Someone who was there. To help him, to support him. Someone who would care. It didn’t solve his problems, not by a long shot. But it did make him feel better and one day, some day, he’ll be fine. 

Until then he had Will, a boy who cared about him and who’ll help him all the way through. He didn’t know why he was so sure of it but he was and he’d be damned if he let himself forget about it again.

**Author's Note:**

> wrote it as a way to cope, didn't help much, hope you liked it


End file.
